Three Years

Sweet Evie,

You are three years old. Three. Years. Old.

And you are simply amazing, my sweet girl.

Right now, you are behind me at the kitchen table. You're coloring and singing a Taylor Swift song. It still surprises me how independent you are. Most of the time when you want something now, you get it for yourself. You choose clothes, and bring them to me to help you get dressed. Sometimes you come out of your room, already wearing your outfit for the day - shoes and all! You get your own lip gloss, your own coloring books, your own toys. And I've stepped out of the shower to find you at the kitchen table, eating lollipops you took from the pantry on your own.

Whatever Daddy and I are doing is what you want to be doing. You love to type on the computer and send email. You make lists all the time - To Do lists and grocery lists. You breastfeed your baby dolls, then you burp them and change their diapers. You help Daddy chop veggies for dinner and you help me cook. You try to pay at restaurants with your pretend credit card. You vacuum and dust and wash dishes. Your purse is next to mine on the counter, and your baby bag is lined up next to Ethan's. Yesterday, I saw you holding your baby in a sling, patting the doll on the bottom and swaying from side to side. You were my mirror image, and it made me laugh.

You love your little brother. I like it when you drag your step stool into his room and put it next to his crib. You stand on it and talk to Ethan if he's fussing. And it almost always makes him stop. He watches you and smiles. You tell him things all day - "Ethan, this is my baby's bottle." or "Ethan, look at my gum!" or "Ethan, we're going to the dentist!" You're a constant narrator of our actions.

And you never, ever stop talking. Mostly, it's cute and funny. Occasionally, it's purely maddening. You talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Then you talk, talk, talk some more. You tell me things you see, things you think, things you remember. Your memory, seriously, is better than mine. You have a mind for details.

You still like to play games. In addition to our tried-and-true games, you like I Spy and Sequence for Kids. But most of all, you are addicted to the Wii. Several evenings a week, you and Daddy disappear downstairs to play video games. When I describe things you like to other people - art, dressing up, singing - you always chime in "And I like to play the Wii!"

Your favorite foods are Ramen Noodles, rice, butter bread, and pot roast. Your favorite treat is bubble gum. You love fruit and vegetables of any kind. You have discriminating tastes for a pre-schooler - your favorite restaurants are Macaroni Grill and Hacienda. You must be eating well, too, because you finally made it into the 10th percentile for your weight!

You began taking gymnastics a few weeks ago. This is the first class you've taken where I don't participate with you. After class, you describe what you did, and you often demonstrate for me. And you'll excitedly tell me your plans for next week, "Next week we're going to do tumbling, and maybe the balance beam!"

You love reading books of any kind. Sometimes you look at the pictures on your own and try to come up with the story. Sometimes you "read" a book you've memorized. But our very favorite is when you curl into the bend of my arm, and I read you stories before bed. It's such a cuddly and special time for the both of us.

I remember when you were growing in my womb, imagining what you would be like. And you are better than anything I ever dreamed. You are sweet and funny. You are kind and sassy. You are tiny and smart. You are generous of heart. You are beautiful.

And you are mine. My first miracle baby, growing up right in front of me. I don't want to miss a single second.

I love you forever.

Love,
Mommy

Thirty Three Months

Sweet Evie,

You turned thirty three months old yesterday. Since you're so tiny and so very verbal, people often look at me with surprise and ask how old you are. It feels odd to say "She's almost three." I don't know how the time passed so quickly, but it's been the best almost-three-years of my life.

This is the last birthday letter I'll write to you as my only child. Ethan will join our family in less than two weeks. You are so excited about his arrival. Just this morning, you were snuggled up to me and felt him moving. You said "I can't wait to meet him!" You plan on holding him and making him "comfy cozy." You're ready to help change diapers and soothe him when he cries. You are going to be such a sweet and loving big sister.

We've been making the most of our time together lately, with special "family" activities. We've been apple picking and to the circus. We've been to the park a million times, where you just want to swing and swing and swing. We've been out to dinner and played games and read books and cooked together. We've made crafts and colored and used glitter glue and put Halloween stickers on paper for hours. We've talked and talked and talked. You love doing anything "like a family," even mundane things like brushing your teeth!

You still require pickles each day before your nap. I lay down in bed with you as you crunch them and you always ask for stories. You need a story about Pablo and Rose, two made up characters, and a story about when you were born. Pablo and Rose used to take trips around the world on airplanes, but now you insist they get hurt in the story. So I find myself thinking of ways someone can break a bone! (Isn't this crazy?) They slip on water by the pool, trip on a branch on the sidewalk, and bump into each other when they're not paying attention. Then they are rushed to the hospital, where the doctors ask them what color cast they need. Of course, the answer is always pink! Let's just say your birth story is more fun to tell!

In addition to pickles, you love sushi. Last time we went out, we allowed you to eat the raw stuff for the first time. You devoured spicy tuna hand rolls and discovered a true love for masago. Pomegranates are in season again, so I have been spending lots of time pulling the jewel-like seeds out and putting them into bowls for you. You also like to eat cupcakes and candy, like any child!

Recently, you want to know what road we are driving on. "Are we on Manchester Road?" You know most of the street names close to home, and others that we travel frequently. It always makes me laugh to hear your little voice asking "This New Ballas Road?" I joke that you are already better with directions than Aunt Rachel!

You are becoming more musical all the time. Sometimes I'll see you tapping on something (your tummy or the table or the kitchen floor or a park bench) and you'll say "I'm making music!" You play your recorder and have just learned how to move your fingers up and down on the holes to make different notes. And, oh, do you love to sing! When we went apple picking, the orchard had a stage for Kid's Karaoke. You marched right up and sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - three times! You are a great performer and you did not want to leave the stage!

Your favorite musical artist is Taylor Swift. You discovered her by chance on the radio one day, and begged to hear her each time we went somewhere in the car. I finally had Daddy download the CD and now we play it constantly. You used to like You Belong to Me because of the line "She wears high heels, I wear sneakers." Your face lights up and you belt it out! But now you like Love Story. You love the end, where Romeo pulls out a ring and proposes. As the only two-year-old I know who is obsessed with weddings, it is the perfect song for you!

So we listen to those two songs over and over. I hadn't even heard many of the other songs until the other day. You stayed with GaGa while I had an appointment with my doctor. I'm so used to playing your music that I didn't even think about turning on something else. I just listened to the CD and the song The Best Day made me cry! It's a simple song with little memories of childhood, and a girl who is thankful for her mother. I hope and pray I am this kind of mother to you. And I hope you have these kind of memories to look back on when you're grown.

I always have the best days with you...

Love, Mommy

Thirty Two Months

Sweet Evie,

A couple of days ago, you turned thirty two months old. And there isn't a day that goes by now when I don't realize how big you are. Right now, you're in the garage since it's raining, playing with the neighbor girls. You're eating Nerds. I can hear you all talking and laughing. Someone is singing, and it makes my heart happy to hear your voice piping up now and again.

Daddy is painting Ethan's room blue, and it is driving you crazy. You insist that your brother would really like pink better. I think you're just about as excited for his arrival as we are. Today you kissed my belly and asked "Ethan have toys in there?" I explained he does not, he's just floating around in the water, listening to us. Then you said you were going to share your squirt bottle with him, and I swelled with happiness. You see, your squirt bottle is one of your favorite and most prized possessions. And you want to share it with our baby. You are going to be the best big sister...

You and Daddy are inseparable lately. The two of you play Hide and Seek and board games. He carries you on his back and calls it the Monkey Train. The other day, he was at work and you said "I want the Monkey Train to come home so I can take a ride. I miss he." Sometimes you cry in the morning when you wake up and realize Daddy has left for work. But when he comes home, you run into his arms and he throws you in the air. It's a magical sight to behold.

Ooga is everywhere now. She is home with us, sharing your pickles before naptime. She comes with us to restaurants and the park. You mention her a zillion times each day. I wonder if she will hang around so much once Ethan is here for real.

You are such a little drama girl. You love to pretend you are someone else. Your newest persona is Sassy Pickle. We'll be playing ball outside on the front lawn, and you'll run over to Daddy and thrust out your hand. You'll ask "Who are you?" and shake hands. Daddy will make up some silly name and you'll reply "I'm Sassy Pickle." I have no idea where you came up with that name! I wasn't even aware you knew the word "sassy!"

You love to dress up, and are forever disappointed when wings and a wand don't really let you fly. You are so confused because it works for Tinkerbell and Abby Cadabby... You also love to dance. And now you try to teach me your dance moves - "You put one arm out and wiggle your fingers. Walk on your toes and turn around and around." It cracks me up to get instruction from you.

Oh, you love to look at our wedding album! I don't know where this obsession came from, either, but it's fun. At least once a day, we pull it out and look at the pictures. We look at Angel Grammy and Daddy's cousin Philip. You like to see Chris, our ring bearer, and Samantha, our flower girl. You comment about how handsome Daddy is. But most of all, you love the cakes! And you just can't figure out why you aren't in any of the pictures.

Of course, I think you are a genius. Really, you probably are. (I'm not biased or anything!) You know all your letters and you love to spell out signs you see. "B-O-R-D-E-R-S!" "B-E-S-T B-U-Y!" I R-O-C-K!" I'd like to take credit for this learning, but it's all due to television and Word World. The best is when you see a long word, and you say "It's a challenge!" and then spell the whole thing.

You are such a treasure, my dear girl. I read somewhere that this age is like Christmas - you can't wait to wake up and see what kind of gift your child gives you. A smile, a hug, saying something magical and sweet. It really is the truth. I love each minute, each second, with you. You will always be my "best thing."

I love you beyond words.

Love, Mommy

Thirty Months

Sweet Evie,

Obviously, I've missed a few letters. And I almost let this one slip by, too. I feel like I have to write this so well that I make up for the other two. It puts a lot of pressure on me to be a great writer, when really I'm just a tired mom. But here I go...

You have grown so much! You were stretched out in our bed the other night (yep, you're back in our bed) and we just stared at you. You looked so long! You're still slender and petite, but getting tall. And you've definitely had a growth spurt recently. You were in your bikini, and I noticed a tiny belly pooching out.

But it's not just your size that's changed. You're growing up in other ways. Your speech continues to amaze me. Today you said "I don't want to wear that cover-up. Put it in your swim bag and I can wear it after I swim, if I want." Such a complicated thought and sentence for a little girl your age! You tattled on Aunt Rachel yesterday. "Aunt Rachel took me on our date, and we forgot to close the garage. So we had to go back and close it." You also correct us "Don't say you hate it, say you don't care for it." We really can't get anything by you!

You still love candy, but I think pickles are your favorite food. You also like pizza, and routinely ask Daddy to take us out for sushi. Mostly, you insist I give you something "tasty and delicious." Which is hard, because you don't really elaborate. I ask "How about pancakes? Bacon? Scrambled eggs?" You answer "No, something tasty!"

Right now, I hear you begging Daddy to play a game. You love to play games - your favorites are Hi Ho Cherry Oh, Candy Land, and Disney Bingo. You could play Bingo for hours. You even watch our cards, to make sure we're not missing anything.

Oh, and you want to get married! First, you insisted you were going to marry me. Then Daddy. Then Uncle Zac. After we explained you had to marry a boy (who was not a relative) you decided to marry Nick. You tell us that you are going to marry Nick, and Andrew will stand behind you, and then you will marry Andrew. And these boys are going to give you a ring on the Eiffel Tower, just like Daddy did with me.

Another big thing that's happened is you are now potty trained! When GaGa was in the hospital, Heather came to visit and we had a short conversation about potty training. Basically, I said you weren't really interested, but I wasn't concerned because you are so young. The next day, you announced "I'm potty training!" We bought new big-girl underwear and you've gone more than six weeks without a single accident. So I am going to be a lucky mom who manages to escape having two kids in diapers at the same time. Thank you, Sweetie!

Since we've spent so much time at the hospital with GaGa, you've decided to become a doctor. You know about radiation and chemo and whether we're in the Cancer Center or the Heart Hospital. You've accumulated scrubs and a doctor's kit, and you love to pretend to help GaGa. You take her temperature and listen to her heart and give her bandages and pretend shots. Sometimes the nurses let you help for real, and more than once, you've insisted that you can start her IV. Maybe in twenty years or so...

You are going to be such a great big sister. You want to feed your brother, and change his diapers and hold him. Sometimes you tell us he wants to come out so you can "cuddle him up!" I know you will love him, and will be a big help to me when he comes.

For now, I'm enjoying having this time together, just us. In a few months, our family will be bigger. I know I'll love it, but I really treasure this time alone with my precious girl. Our conversations and cuddles and playtime...

You continue to amaze me every single day, and I just thank God for you. I love you with all my heart.

Love, Mommy

Twenty-Seven Months

Sweet Evie,

Earlier this week, you turned twenty-seven months. I've been looking back at past Easter photos lately, with you in your little bunny ears. It's amazing that we've had three Easter celebrations with you. You've grown so much, and it's gone so quickly.

Your biggest (and most annoying) change over the past month is your curiosity. You ask "Why?" a million times a day, over and over.

You: You my mommy? Why?
Me: Because you are a part of me and you grew in my tummy and I love you and take care of you.
You: Why?
Me: Because that's what mommies do. They take care of their babies.
You: Why?
Me: Um, because I love you.
You: Why?
Me: Because you are kind and sweet and funny and beautiful.
You: Why?
Me: Oh, Evie, I don't know! Why are you so kind and sweet and beautiful?!?!?!
You: Don't know.

You still LOVE the color pink, to the point of insanity. You now pretend other colors are pink. "That not red, Mommy. That pink." You have to have pink clothes and shoes and drinks. (Grenadine colors most anything pink.) You look for pink signs when we're driving in the car. I even color your bath water pink. It bothers you to no end that I still have not bought pink pony tail holders. You have to settle for purple or green or blue, much to your dissatisfaction.

Your favorite show on television is Word World. The animal characters on the show "build" things out of letters. We were in the car the other day, and you complained you couldn't see me. I showed you to look in the rear view mirror, and you were concerned because you didn't have your own mirror. Then I heard you jabbering about letters, and you pushed your little hands together like they do on the show. And then, you said "Mommy, I built a mirror for my own self!" You also built a pink sky for yourself, and a purple sky for me. You proceeded to throw the skies up to the ceiling of my car.

But you love letters, and you really love books. Your favorites are Pinkalicious, Noodles from Scratch, Tea for Ruby, or any Disney Princess book. Like any child your age, you like repetition, so we read them repeatedly.

Next week, we leave for our vacation. You picked out a new swimming suit for Florida, and you want to wear it. NOW. You will be so happy to be by the pool, in your new suit! I'm really looking forward to this trip, watching you splash in the water, experiencing Disney World for the first time, meeting Shamu, and hanging out in the sun.

I can't write this without mentioning today would have been your Angel Grammy's birthday. It breaks my heart that you never met her. She prayed so hard for God to send you to us, and she prayed so hard she would know you. But I am sure if she was here, she would think you were just as beautiful and smart as special as we think you are.

I love you so much, my darling girl. Lately, you look up at me and say "I love you, Mommy. You so good to me." Sweet Girl, you are the one who is good to me. You are the answer to my prayers, the love in my heart, the light in my life. I love you so much.

Love, Mommy

Twenty-Six Months

Sweet Evie,

Last week you turned twenty six months old. Like every monthly birthday, I am surprised again at how quickly you grow. But TWENTY SIX MONTHS? I just can't believe it!

With the spring weather, we've been spending lots of time outside. Tonight Daddy noticed you have a little bit of a tan. We've played for hours at the park. You love to swing and you are a daredevil on the slide. Friday, you taught kids (who were several years older) how to go down the slide on their tummy. I was worried a mob of mothers would hunt me down because their children were going dangerously fast - face first - right off the slide!

You love to play with the neighbors in the evenings. You ride bikes and chase them and color the driveway with chalk. You like to drag your little chair from the garage and watch the runners and dog walkers go by. Daddy takes you for a special walk almost every day. The two of you walk around the neighborhood or on the trail by our house. He always comes back with a funny story about you.

You and Daddy have grown so close the past few weeks. You have your walks, of course, and lots of special games. You love to play hide and seek. Daddy hides and you sit in the living room, close your eyes, and count to five. Then you look over at me and ask "Go now?" and I hear you run to find him. Since Murphy joins in the hunt for Daddy, the two of you often find him quickly. When it takes longer, Daddy says "Psst!" to help you. You squeal and run in his direction.

Daddy has met us for ultrasounds each week, and for lunch last week. Now that you've figured out that he can leave work during the day, you ask for him all the time. "I want see Daddy!" is a new phrase you use often.

You just love the Disney Princesses. You think you are Sleeping Beauty. You've declared I am Cinderella, and Daddy is Prince Charming. (And you are right about Daddy.) You and I attended a cookie decorating class, and the instructor asked your name. You spoke right up, "I'm Sleeping Beauty!"

You like to dress up more than ever. Sometimes you wear your bee wings from Halloween and pretend you can fly like Tinkerbell or Abby Cadabby. You have a few pairs of dress up shoes you love to wear in the kitchen. They make a clacking noise on the floor, and you've dubbed them your "clack clack shoes." You love to put on tutus. And you insist on wearing these outfits in public. I let you, because I think it's adorable to watch a little girl with a big imagination. Even if the wings pose a problem in your car seat.

You are such a loving girl. You always tell me how much you love me, and it makes my heart melt. "I love you so much, Mommy!" And I love you so much, my darling girl.

Love, Mommy

Twenty-Five Months

Sweet Evie,

As the sun rose today, you opened your little eyes and said "Hello, Sleeping Beauty!" And, again, it struck me how much you've grown.

In the past several weeks, you've left The Backyardigans behind. It started when you no longer wanted your stuffed Pablo at bedtime - you'd hold your little hand up and say "No Pablo!" You don't want to watch the show anymore, either. You prefer Sesame Street or American Idol, or if you're having a lucky day you can talk me into letting you watch Finding Nemo or Tinkerbell.

Now you don't want to sleep on your Backyardigans bedding. Instead, you told us you want "Nemo covers." Daddy agreed to buy you new covers if you started sleeping in your own bed. Until it is light outside. And you're doing it. It should make me happy to have our bed back again, but it doesn't. I'm mad at Daddy because I wake up in the night and I miss you. You've traded in the comforts of your mother for toddler bedding!

We've planned a trip to Florida in May, and in preparation I've introduced you to the wonderful world of Disney. The library is a treasure trove of Disney Princess books and you call them by name. "Mommy, Cinderella! Sleeping Beauty! Ariel! Jasmine! Snow White!" Those Princesses are everywhere - on the balloon Aunt Rachel bought you, on your Pull-Ups, on sunglasses you see at Target, and on the fruit snacks Daddy brought home today. The two of you lay on the floor each day and read Princess books together. It melts my heart to watch you together.

You are becoming quite the backseat driver. You notice red ("Red, stop!") and green ("Green light, go Buddy!) traffic lights. You often demand "Drive slowly, Daddy!" And you rule the radio, "Music, Mommy!" or "Different music!" or my personal annoyance "Too loud!" That radio is at a whisper, and you still ask me to turn it down.

But you love singing. You know the words to "Hush, Hush" and to the "Sunny Day," which is what you call the Sesame Street theme song. You have fun singing along to all the songs from our Kindermusik class - especially "Morning Song." We sing "Wheels on the Bus" several times each day. Oh, and you are fascinated with American Idol. You even sing along with the contestants! I wasn't sure how much was actually sinking into your little brain, until you asked me to sing "Mercy." I had no idea what you were talking about until you clarified "Mercy, Mommy. American Idol."

Your taste in food is changing a little, too. You love to drink protein shakes with Daddy after he runs. You like pork loin and brussel sprouts. For some reason, you always ask for a cookie when you watch Sesame Street. But your favorite is still candy. Luckily for us, this has helped tremendously for potty training. Who knew a "potty jar" of candy would work so well?

With so much talk about a new baby lately, you want to play "baby" often. You ask to be held like a baby. You feed and cuddle your baby dolls. Somehow, you even tricked Daddy into giving you a bottle of milk the other day! And I want you to know I loved you so very much when you were a baby. You were my first miracle from God, and you made me a mother. But, Evie, I love you so much more today. You are so sweet and smart and you just glow with happiness. You have spunk and empathy and energy. You're tiny, but strong.

I love watching you grow, Little One. And I love loving you.

Love, Mommy

Twenty-Four Months

Sweet Evie,

Yesterday you turned two. Two Years Old. All day, I kept thinking about the day you were born. It was such a miracle for Daddy and me, and it was a day we will never forget.

A few days before you were born, we had an appointment with Dr. Jewell. At the end of our visit, he mentioned he would be on call on my due date and offered to induce labor if you hadn't been born yet. Daddy and I were both taken by surprise because we hadn't even considered that option. After lots of questions for Dr. Jewell and a night to sleep on it, we scheduled an induction for the evening of January 18th.

I just knew I was going to go into labor before that. But January 18th came, and you had not made your debut. Grandpa came in from Michigan late in the afternoon, and we all went to dinner. Then we settled in back at home and waited for a call from the hospital.

It's funny, I was so very calm. I wasn't worried, just anxious to meet you and see your face. Eventually, I went to bed and left Daddy to listen for the phone to ring.

At about 10:30 pm, the hospital called and said they were ready for us. It was finally time! We all loaded up and made our way there. When we arrived, we were shown into the birthing room and met our nurse and the resident obstetrician. Around midnight, the doctor gave me a sleeping pill and medicine to get my body ready for labor. She told me to get some rest, and that they'd start another medicine to give me contractions late in the morning.

After that, Grandpa came in the room to see how things were. We told him we were prepared - we had our favorite shows on the iPod, a deck of cards, music, lotion for a massage, sudoku books - the works. We were ready for a long labor!

But you had other things in mind, my sweet girl! While Grandpa was in the room, I felt a cramp. He left a few minutes later, and I began to feel even more cramps. Daddy and I talked to the nurse, who told us that was a normal side effect of the medicine. We knew I wasn't in labor because the cramps were low, not over my whole belly. And they got worse! Eventually, Daddy and I went for a walk around the hall. I just couldn't sit still! The monitor that was there to record my contractions was silent.

I began to worry. I was having this pain, and I wasn't even in labor yet! I had 12 more hours of this before I would get the medicine to start my labor! The pain wasn't bad, but it was constant, and I couldn't sleep. Less than an hour into the cramps, the house doctor checked, and I was dilated! Oh, then came the sweetest words "Would you like an epidural now?" I had been in labor and didn't even know it!

The epidural was the part I was dreading most. A big needle in the back can make anyone a little nervous. But I leaned over the side of the bed, and Daddy held my hands and reassured me. Just like that, it was over.

So we slept. I remember few things for the next couple of hours - the doctor broke my water, they gave me an oxygen mask because your levels had dropped a bit, I prayed little dreamy prayers that you would be safely delivered to me. At 7:00 am, the nurse came in and explained it was a shift change, and she was leaving. I was six centimeters dilated.

Then Dr. Jewell came in to wish us a good morning. He explained my contractions were irregular, so he planned on giving me medicine to make them stronger and more regular. It would be several hours though, and he said to plan on a late afternoon birth. Daddy and I called Grandpa and GaGa and told them to take it easy - have a cup of coffee and take a shower before they came to the hospital.

Our new nurse came in and introduced herself. She explained she wanted to get to know my body, and checked to see how far I was dilated. We were so surprised when she said I was fully dilated! She asked me to push, to determine if I needed to "labor down." Suddenly she was saying "Stop! I need to get Dr. Jewell in here right away."

I was comfortable - able to move my legs just a bit, but in absolutely no pain. So we waited a couple minutes and Dr. Jewell arrived. I pushed a few times and you made your way into the world! You, our precious angel, were born at 7:54 am. Dr. Jewell said you were one of the five easiest labors he's ever seen. For that, I thank you.

You looked just like Daddy when you were born. And you were so tiny. I hadn't imagined I was growing such a petite girl!

It all happened so fast! Maybe half an hour later, there was a knock at the door. Daddy peeked out and I heard "Dad, Sarah's nursing Evie. Can you give us a few minutes?" Then, I heard a very surprised Grandpa reply "She's here already?" In all the craziness, we forgot to tell everyone you had been born!

Even before you were conceived, I loved the idea of you. My own little baby. When I saw the very first picture of you as an embryo, I loved you. During each ultrasound, I loved you. When I found out you were a girl, I loved my daughter. I loved you when I heard your hearbeat. But the day I met you in person, I fell head over heels for you.

Oh, I loved you when you were born. But I really know you now. I know your sweet personality and your quirks. I've cuddled you in the middle of the night and whispered your name. I've kissed your forehead and nose and cheeks and ears and belly and toes and fingers and your perfect mouth. I've sung to you. I've read to you. We've had pretend tea parties and colored and painted and danced. We've held hands. We've run and jumped and gone swimming. And all this has made me love you more.

When I look back over the past few years, I am still in awe that you are here. You are such a blessing. You are my everything. I love you, Little One. Forever and ever.

Love, Mommy

Twenty-Three Months

Sweet Evie,

Twenty-three months. The time passes so quickly! It's funny - sometimes when the day is gone and it's time for a bath and getting you down for bed, I think "I want more time with her!" But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that on some nights, I'm so grateful for the peace after you've gone to sleep.

As I write this, you are napping. You and I have recently been reading Christmas books before your nap. It started with just one or two books, but now we're up to four. And sometimes we read them more than once. I can't help it, though. It's fun to snuggle next to you while we read about snowmen and penguins and Santa. After we read today, we cuddled under the covers and you said "Happy Mommy!" I wonder if you were telling me you're happy, or if you were just commenting on the smile on my face...

You really love reading. We borrowed a book from the library called Katy Duck, and it's your favorite. Katy Duck is a ballerina who twirls and spins. You'll bring the book to me and say "Katy Duck! Tutu!" So we go in your room and put one of your tutus on. As I read you spin around in giant circles and yell "Quack, quack!"

You love playing dress-up. You like wearing your tutus, but you really come up with some odd attire combinations. I've seen you in a gaudy beaded necklace, sunglasses, a bucket hat, and a cat tail from an old Halloween costume. You've worn pjs, a tutu, and a furry winter vest from last year. Hats and necklaces accessorize anything. And anything can be a purse. If it has handles, you loop it over your arm and say "Bye bye."

You have your favorite "everyday" clothes, too. I bought you a shirt from the Gap a couple months ago that says Candy Girl. You also have a blue shirt with a penguin and peppermint candy that you call your "Blue Candy Girl Shirt." You ask to wear these shirts everyday. If I tell you they are both dirty, you demand "Wash!" GaGa came over this afternoon and we listened to Sugar Sugar by The Archies. You love it, just for the line "You are my candy, girl."

You are speaking so well, and SO MUCH! I really can't believe the progress you're making. Last weekend you said your first sentence, "Daddy loves garlic!" You're at the point where you can communicate just about anything you need. I still marvel over the words you pick up - water tower, appetizer, clementine. When Daddy and I were on our honeymoon at the Vidafel Resort, we bought this little turtle and named him Vidafel. You've recently discovered him and ask for him by name many times each day - "Vidafel! Hold Vidafel!" You only have to hear a word once and it's in your memory. The other day, Daddy was impatient because another car was trying to turn in front of us in traffic. From the back seat, your little voice piped "Go, Buddy!"

You become so excited over little things. It's so fun to see your reaction to the ordinary. You'll clap your hands and say "Yea! Black beans!" or "Yea! Christmas Lights!" or "Yea! Santa!" or "Yea! Snowman!" or even "Yea! Band-Aids!" The other day we were in Target and I decided to pick up milk while we were there. You screamed "Yea! Milk!" and clapped your hands loudly. I swear, people must have thought you haven't had milk in years.

Your favorite drink is strawberry milk. Sometimes, just to tease me, you ask for white milk. As I hand it to you, you'll get a naughty look and say "Pink milk!" You love pomegranate, oranges, pizza, popcorn, and edamame. The other day you asked to eat at McDonald's! You haven't been there more than ten times ever, but you are hooked already. It must be the fries.

You are such a good little girl. You already have a chore - when I empty the dishwasher, you put away the forks and spoons. When you're finished, you always beg for more utensils! And you are very polite. You always say "Please" and "Thank you." I often see people look impressed when you say "Thank you," and it makes me feel like I'm doing something right.

You love praying and we usually have to pray twice before each meal. You insist. You also notice Baby Jesus everywhere, so close to Christmas. He's in a little walnut shell on our Christmas tree, as you're fond of showing me. He's on a magnet on the fridge. He's in the nativity in your room and we saw Him in the Christmas drama at church. As you grow up, I hope you continue to remember He's with us always.

There's a line I heard in Sugar Sugar that resonated with me today, "I just can't believe the loveliness of loving you." It really is lovely to love you.

Love, Mommy

Twenty-Two Months

Sweet Evie,

Yesterday was your twenty-two month birthday. You are less than two months away from your second birthday, and I am still amazed by you every single day.

The big highlight over the past month was the two weeks Grandpa spent at our house. I tried to prepare you for his visit by explaining Grandpa would be sleeping at our house. You took it a bit literally, and for the first day or so you kept saying "Grandpa sleepy." I guess I'll have to be a little more clear next time!

We had a great time with Grandpa - visiting the Butterfly House, attending a sing along at PBK, digging for dinosaurs, going out to lunch several times and to dinner at PF Changs (where you learned to use chopsticks,) and just hanging out together. Grandpa bought you new Crocs, and you now refuse to wear any other shoes. He left Sunday afternoon, but you still ask for him and yell his name daily.

You are speaking so well. Today you were playing make believe, cooking in your little kitchen. I heard you say "Soup too hot." Then you blew into the pot to cool it off. You say so many things, I can't even remember them now. You can communicate exactly which Backyardigans episode you want to watch. "Ho Daddy" is reqested most of all, which means you want to watch "Surf's Up," where they say "Ho Daddy! Surf's up!" Oh, and you are such a girl! You can screech - with joy or surprise or just pure energy - like nobody's business.

Speaking of soup, it's become your favorite food. I try not to ask what you want to eat, because the answer is always "Shoup!" You still love sunflower seeds and cashews, but you've added yogurt tubes and string cheese to the list of foods you adore. You love, love, love candy of any kind, especially Nerds and Starburst.

I just bought you a shirt last week that says "Candy Girl." You run around the house screaming "Candy Girl!" You and I had a battle this week because you wanted to wear that shirt with a skirt, not jeans. It didn't match at all, but I finally caved in and allowed you to look ridiculous for our playdate. I should have taken a picture to blackmail you with when you're older.

You are so like Daddy in two new ways. First, you are talking in your sleep a lot more. The other night I was trying to fall asleep. We all have colds, so I heard:

Daddy: Snore
Evie: Snore
Daddy: Snore
Evie: Yellow cup!
Daddy: Snore
Evie: Teeth!
Daddy: Snore
Evie: Snore
Daddy: Snore
Evie: Seeds!

Secondly, you have taught yourself to fake burp. You think this is hilarious and do it over and over and over. At least you've learned a little from me, because you hold your little hand to your neck and say "Excuse me."

You are very empathetic. There is a picture of a crying baby in a book we often read. You screw up your little face and say "Cry. Mommy." In your mind, his mommy will make it better. And you are concerned with my happiness, too. If I seem frazzled or frustrated, you stroke my arm and say "Mommy, happy."

And, Sweetheart, you do make me so happy. Your sweet smile, your sweet voice, your sweet little face... You're everything I prayed for. You're my daughter, my "best thing," my everything. I love you to the moon and back.

Love, Mommy

Twenty-One Months

Sweet Evie,

I was in the shower this morning, when I suddenly realized yesterday was your twenty-one month birthday! I can't believe I forgot!

Twenty-one months! When people ask your age, it seems strange to say "She's twenty-one months." This may be the time I start replying with "She's almost two." My breath catches just a bit as I write that. Almost two...

Your imagination is blossoming. Your favorite "pretend" activity is cooking. You often stir pots and bowls of who-knows-what. After the food is "done," you offer Daddy and me bite after bite. You also love to have tea parties. Of course, being Miss Independent, you prepare the tea all by yourself and then give it to us.

You also love dressing up. Just a few days ago, you learned the word "princess." Now you are a princess when I put your hair in pigtails or when you wear a tutu. You like to wear hats of all kinds when dressing up. You might pair a fireman's hat or a baseball cap with a dress. Whatever the outfit, you are always the most beautiful girl I know.

You must take after GaGa, because you are quite the artist. We color or paint or draw every single day. GaGa and I thought your first paintings would end up completely brown, but you surprised us. You keep your colors separate and create beautiful works of art. Just tonight, you colored on the carpet for the first time. This was not my favorite of your creations.

I can't believe how quickly you are learning language. You say so many words! My favorite is when I ask you what a pirate says and you reply "Arr Matey!" It cracks me up! You get excited when you see colors, especially orange pumpkins. You don't know the word "pumpkin" yet, but you scream out "Orange!" Pumpkins are everywhere this time of year, so I'm hearing about them a lot!

Of course, you know all the names and colors of The Backyardigans. You watch an episode almost every day, but your entire day revolves around these characters. You carry around your little stuffed Pablo, and ask to listen to their "See Bee," which is Evie-speak for CD.

You've learned how to open the childproof drawers and cabinets. This is no end of frustration for Daddy and me. You get out our good Post-It notes and rip them apart one by one. You help youself to the lip gloss in the drawers. You even figured out where we keep the gum and candy. When we tell you no, you say "Tic Tac, please? Gum, please?" Of course, the contents of this drawer have been relocated elsewhere!

Obviously, candy is still your favorite food. Fortunately, it's followed closely behind by apples, noodles of any kind, and edamame. When I took you to the doctor last week, that scale I hate so much still read only 20 pounds.

And the saga of putting things in your nose continues. Today you were upset, and you kept telling me "Seeds!" You tried to stick my finger in your nose. It was only then that I understood you had stuck a sunflower seed up your nose, and you needed my help getting it out. Ah, a mother's job...

You are the best little girl. You are developing a lot of empathy for others. When you see someone cry, whether in a book or in public or on TV, you mimic their face and say "Cry." Likewise, you love the attention you get when you hug or kiss someone. You and Daddy play a game where you listen to his heart, which is really Daddy's way of getting you to sit still with him and cuddle. It's very cute.

You are my miracle baby. I love you so very much. Each day, you grow bigger and smarter and sweeter. And each day, my miracle gets better and better.

Love, Mommy

Twenty Months

Sweet Evie,

Yesterday was your twenty-month birthday. Right now you are sleeping peacefully in your bed, hopefully dreaming sweet dreams. You fell asleep minutes ago while I was holding you, and I deposited you safely into bed. I stood there an extra moment, just admiring your sleeping face. You are such a treasure.

Earlier today, you were prancing around in a new pair of shoes. They are actually boots, and you were excited to have them. You danced around exclaiming "Boots!" and then shook your feet through the banister. As I was watching this, I just couldn't believe Daddy and I made you. A little piece of me and a little piece of Daddy made this perfect little person who now lives in our house. Life is such a miracle.

Of course, you had two big changes this past month. You no longer nurse and you sleep in a big girl bed. Both of these were big events in our house, but they've long since faded away. It's amazing how quickly we settle into new routines. Instead of nursing, you and I cuddle a lot. I love when you wake up in the morning or from a nap and ask "Cuddle?" Oh, my heart just melts right away!

Your bed was a challenge, but you've accepted it now. Each night, I hold you until you fall asleep and put you in your bed. If we're lucky, you'll make it until early morning before you cry to come into our bed. Last night, you didn't come in at all - you slept by yourself the entire night. I've learned that one night does not make a pattern, so we'll see what the future holds. I can say I absolutely love putting you to sleep this way. I sit on the couch and hold you. You lay your sweet head on my shoulder, wiggle a bit, and drift off. It's a beautiful time for the two of us.

You are speaking so much and so clearly! I can't even keep track of how many words you say. My favorite right now is "milk," which you pronounce as "mewt." It cracks me up every time. You love Mermaid Lullaby, and sing a few parts with me, like "hush, hush." Your voice is very sweet, and I love to hear it. You can count to three - "Von, two, free!" and you know your colors. You correctly identify blue, yellow, orange, and pink. When I ask how old you are, you lift up one finger and say "Von!"

You really enjoy doing "projects." We've made play dough and get it out often. Daddy made a turtle from it once, and you've never forgotten. Now you ask for a turtle each time. You have a sweater box full of dried lentils and you love to pour them into cups and pitchers, and stir them with a wooden spoon. Today I walked away for a minute and you were sitting in the box when I returned! You like to color and paint and draw with chalk. Sometimes, we fill little bowls with water and food coloring, and you use a medicine dropper to drop the colored water onto paper towels. You make beautiful designs this way!

You always want to help me when I'm in the kitchen. You'll pull a chair over to the counter and climb up. You yell "Help!" so I know you're ready and willing to pitch in. You often are able to help a bit, by emptying a measuring cup of flour into a bowl or stirring something. Sometimes I give you a fake chore, like washing dishes, to keep you busy while I work.

Oh, your favorite food by far is "Candy!" I am probably doing something bad here, but I often use sweets as a bribe. It keeps you in the cart at the grocery store and usually gets you to eat that last bite of meat at dinner.

You still like turtles, but you are obsessed with anything Backyardigans. You have a guitar, book, bubble blower, See and Say, and sippy cups. Sometimes when we leave the house, you try to lug all of them with you! I'll look over and see a little pile you've started by the door, and you'll be dragging some other Backyardigans item over.

You're learning to ride a tricycle. I really can't believe it. Right in front of me, you're growing up. I know in a few months I'll read this and think about how little you were. But right now, you seem so big to me.

I love you, sweet girl. You are all the best things about me. You are my best gift from God, and I love you with all my heart.

Love, Mommy

Nineteen Months

Sweet Evie,

You are nineteen months old today. It seems hard to believe that another month has passed already. You are growing up day by day, and it happens so quickly.

You've begun to speak much more clearly. In the last few weeks, you have gone from calling Maddy simply "Maa," to clearly saying "Maddy." You love to say "Got it!" when you pick something up. If I say ouch, you ask "Okay?" Last week, you learned to shake hands. "Meet you," you say, meaning "Nice to meet you." Instead of saying "Hi," you now say "Hello," when you talk on the phone.

You are so very independent. From climbing the stairs to putting on your shoes, you want to do it alone. If I'm in a hurry and I put shoes on your feet, you actually take them off so you can put them on again by yourself.

You love to buckle things - especially on your little stroller or your car seat. You enjoy coloring and playing with Play Dough. You got a Backyardigans guitar for our trip to Marysville and you took it everywhere with you for awhile. I've even had to change your diaper while you held onto that thing! You've recently begun to play with shape sorters, and it's fun to see your proud face when you push a shape through the right hole. You have three dolls now, and you are a good little mommy to them all. The other day you sat on the couch and held one of the dolls to your chest, patting her back. It was such a sweet moment.

You really love books. Your haul them out of the book bin and plop them down by me. Your favorites right now are Rainbow Rob and Ten in a Bed. There is a rainbow in the Rainbow Rob book, and you point right to the blue part and say "Blue!" My little genius!

Your appetite has waned a little this past month. My same-old food worries have resurfaced, and I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to get you to eat protein. Your favorite foods are edamame, corn, and candy. You ate raw corn at Aunt Shari's and now I have to keep a close eye on you when I'm shucking corn at home. If I don't, you bite right into it! You also like to eat eggs, and I always slip a little whole milk and cheese in when I scramble them. Hey, I have to sneak in calories when I can!

Your sleeping has gotten worse. It's a struggle to get you to sleep, and when you wake up in the wee hours, only the comfort of Mommy and Daddy's bed will do. I enjoy the cuddling, but Daddy doesn't sleep well with you kicking him all night.

You are still so attached to me, but lately you've been playing more on your own. I can take a shower while you play in the living room. I like the freedom, but some crazy part of me feels like you're pulling away just a bit.

I love you with all my heart. There are times when I look over at you, and I just can't believe you're mine. You are so beautiful and smart and loving. You are my best blessing, Little One.

Love, Mommy

Eighteen Months

Sweet Evie,

You are eighteen months old today. As I write this, you are rolling around on the floor playing with Daddy. He is your best and favorite toy.

I can't believe you are a year and a half old. You are as close to one as you are to two. It doesn't seem like it's been very long since your first birthday party, but you are growing up!

Yesterday at the doctor, I finally saw 20 pounds on the scale! I was so excited! For some reason I think 20 pounds is a milestone mark - I feel like you're safer now that you're a reasonable weight. Silly, huh? You love to eat, so I know you're doing well without even seeing the numbers. Although you hate milk, you enjoy eating edamame, sunflower seeds, blueberries, bacon, plums, beans, eggs, and yes, apple juice.

You continue to be fascinated, obsessed, with turtles. I had no idea there were so many turtles on this Earth. They are in backyards as sandboxes, on your toothpaste tube, on a puzzle we walked by at Sam's Club. You have an eye for them. Sometimes you say "Turtle!" and I look around, certain you are just saying the word for fun. And then I see it - on a sticker or backpack or book or cup.

You are also obsessed with the computer. You talk to Grandpa on the webcam, and you must think he's there all the time. Ten times a day, you point to the computer and ask "Ga-Pa?" He's been on vacation the past week, so you haven't gotten your "fix" lately. You climb up on the chair anyway, and push buttons on the keyboard or play with the mouse. It must be something about grandparents and electronics, because you still L-O-V-E to talk to GaGa on the cell phone.

Since the Fourth of July, you have been scared of loud noises. Anything can set you off, and you scramble into my lap. You are truly terrified. Something like the sound of a lawnmower or the closet door sliding is enough to frighten you. Daddy and I are understanding, trying to comfort you.

You have become much better about sharing at the pool. There is a little boy, Gabriel, who is there often. The two of you have become "sharing friends." You let him play with your toys and share your gummy fruit. I've also seen you take toys over to other kids, and you always clap for yourself. I really encourage this behavior, "Evie, you are sharing so well!" You also want to "swim," without our help, at the pool. Daddy is much better at this than I, since it scares me. You try to kick your feet, and often end up getting water in your nose. It doesn't bother you a bit! I let you walk around and jump in the water, hoping it will tire you out!

You are a good helper at home. When I vacuum, you get out your toy vacuum and work alongside me. You wipe the table and floor with wet paper towels, and you're learning to put your toys away. Speaking of toys, you recently learned to ride your car forward! It's such an accomplishment, and you prefer it to going backward as you used to do.

Your vocabulary is growing so quickly. I am amazed at how you communicate with us. You say "Ouch!" so Daddy kisses you, and you get a lot of attention from strangers when you say "Hi!" and wave to them. You also love to point out babies to me, as if to let me know how much you have grown yourself. Your new favorite word is "No!" You know what you don't want, and you know what you want, only you can't always tell me what it is!

You are just the sweetest girl. Each morning, we cuddle in bed when you wake up. It melts my heart to snuggle and hold you. You give lots of kisses. I am so thankful to God for you. We prayed so long for you, and I can't believe you've already been ours for a YEAR AND A HALF!

Love, Mommy

Seventeen Months

Sweet Evie,

You are seventeen months old today. You've been with us only a little more than 500 days, and you've changed my world.

You are such a tiny girl, just a little bit of a thing. I'll be happy if you make it up to 20 pounds by your eighteen month birthday. But you are a spitfire! Your personality is big, and you think you are already so grown up. However, you are still a baby, just for a little while longer.

You are running! Not just fast-walking, but full out running. It scares me because I know you will fall. And sometimes you do. But you are also tough. I'm surprised at how many times I think a tumble will make you cry, only to have you bounce back up unscathed.

Your favorite two words are more "ma" and mine "mine-a-mine-a-mine." This is cute, until you are put in a situation where sharing is necessary. We take a big bucket full of toys to the pool, as does every other toddler. Sharing is required, and you have no problem playing with the toys other children bring. But you do not like them to play with your toys. You see someone approach your things out of the corner of your eye, and you rush to them -- "Mine-a-mine-a-mine!" Then you patrol the splash pool or the beach entrance, to be sure no one else has the nerve to move in on your territory. I know this is a normal part of your emotional development, but it is sure embarrassing to me!

More is a much cuter word in your vocabulary, and you use it often. "Ma" follows each time we read Where is the Green Sheep? You say it when you're eating, when I tickle you, when Daddy bounces you around on the bed like a maniac right before it's "lights out" for the night. We're learning a new rhyme, called I Have Little Feet, and you giggle and exclaim "Ma!" each time we do it.

I Have Little Feet

I have little feet
(Point to feet.)
To follow Jesus' ways.
(March in place.)

I have little hands
(Hold hands out.)
And fold them when I pray.
(Fold hands.)

I have little ears
(Point to ears.)
That hear of Jesus' love.
(Cross hands on chest.)

I have a little tongue
(Point to tongue.)
To tell about His love.
(Make "talking" motion with hands.)

You are also making strides (I guess I can say that???) in the potty-training department. You tell us immediately after you poop. If, for some reason, I'm not paying attention, you reach into your diaper and pull out a hand full of poop to illustrate your point. I have to be on the ball, because this all happens in a matter of minutes. We're buying a potty this weekend, just to see how you react. We won't be putting any pressure on you, especially since I'm not sure if I'm committed enough, and I think you're too young. But we'll see what happens.

Although you are tiny, you love to eat. Your favorite foods are blueberries, Ramen Noodles (blame Daddy for that,) sausage links, lollipops, Popsicles, sunflower seeds, black olives, and anything with tomatoes.

You still don't sleep through the night. Daddy and I consider a "one wake-up" night to be good. You were doing so well until an ear infection about a month ago. Now night-time is a struggle again. I try to be patient, but I'm not perfect. I wonder sometimes how I long I can continue to have this interrupted sleep. But most nights I'm content to get you from your crib when you need me, snuggle up in my bed and nurse you until you drift back off. I complained to Debbie next door a few weeks ago. The Girls are ten, eight, five and four years old. I said "Evie STILL doesn't sleep through the night!" She looked at me knowingly, and said "Mine don't, either." My expectations about sleep are different than before I was a mother, but a night of sleeping for hours on end sounds delicious.

You love to talk on the phone. You're too smart to spend much time on the toy "pretend" phones. You want the real thing. You talk, mostly to GaGa and Daddy, and now you have a new habit of snapping the phone closed when you're finished. Too bad Mommy is usually waiting to have the phone back and resume her conversation...

You are such a loving child. You pass out generous hugs and kisses to our friends and neighbors. Your affection is sought-after. Many times a day you will hear "Evie, can I have a kiss?" or "Evie, will you hug me?" or "Evie, will you sit in my lap?" You cuddle your new turtle; you feed and kiss your baby doll. You'll lay your sweet head on my shoulder and all is right in the world.

I was rocking you to sleep a few weeks ago, when I realized your "baby" smell is gone. I don't know when this happened, and I was sad. I was sad, and I was happy. You are growing into such a beautiful, smart, and caring child. I am overjoyed at this time we've had with you.

However, you are still a baby, just for a little while longer.

Love, Mommy