Monday, December 1, 2008

Mother Letter Project

A few weeks ago I told you about a sweet, sweet man and the gift he's giving his wife for Christmas.

Well, I wrote a letter to share the wisdom I have learned since becoming a mother myself. What I've learned is no newsflash, but something I've realized as I journey down this path.

Dear Mother,

It's hard to write a letter to someone I don't know. I don't know your name or what you look like. I don't know your hobbies or dreams or the things that keep you from falling asleep at night. But I do know one of the very most important things about you - you are a mother.

I am a mother, too. My journey to become a mother was a long one, but my daughter is well worth the wait. She is all the best things about me, jammed into a very tiny package.

My husband and I tried for years to conceive a child. Month after month passed and the pregnancy test was always negative. We underwent many tests, spent thousands of dollars, and tried to mend our broken hearts. And we grew closer to our God, knowing He did not make a mistake in giving us this burden.

With the help of several nurses and three doctors, I was finally pregnant! Oh, it was a glorious time. I didn't hate my pregnant body the way some women do. I truly marveled at this miracle. It's still amazing to me that I grew my daughter right in my own womb.

No matter how our children come to us, it's a miracle to be a mother. It's also a crushing responsibility. I have "Perfect Mother Syndrome," although I believe I am recovering nicely now. There have been so many things in my life that I worked hard at, trying to be the best. I had the perfect career, the perfect marriage, the perfect little house, the perfect circle of friends. This mother thing is a whole new ballgame, though. Before my daughter was born I had already read all the books. I knew What to Expect the First Year and how to have the Happiest Baby on the Block. It makes me cringe a little to remember how naive I was!

You can't raise a child by the book though. My daughter cried for the first eight weeks of her life. I cried a lot, too. What had I gotten myself into? I talked to the doctor and swaddled and shushed. Against our pediatrician's advice, I finally committed the worst mommy sin of all and put her into bed with us. I held her all day long. I followed my instincts. And do you know what happened? She stopped crying.

So this is what I've learned - and have had to re-learn over and over again - I know better than anyone else how to take care of my child. No one knows her better than I. I should always follow my instincts.

Oh, and I've also learned I am a good mother. Maybe not perfect, but certainly good enough. That's what we need to tell one another. You are a good mother.

Congratulations on the wonderful person (or persons) you are raising. You are a good mother.

Evie's Mommy


Scarlet O'Kara said...

What a beautiful letter...

You are a wonderful mom.

Janelle said...

That will be a treasured piece of writing as the years go by. One day, you and Evie will read that as she is preparing for the birth of her first child. You will cry together!

Prasti said...


i'm still working on mine. you're right, it's hard to write a letter to someone you don't know.

Shari Baby said...


Momma said...

beautiful! and such a great letter for all moms to read. You are right. You can read and read all you want. But the best thing you can do is follow your instincts. Only YOU know what is best for your baby.

Jeno said...

Very well written. This is a great gift for any MOM!!!

casual friday everyday said...

Tears...pregnancy hormones mixed with awesome writing! ;)

Momisodes said...

An absolute treasure. I loved reading this. You are so right, we don't tell each other enough- you are a good mother.

And you ARE a good mother.