To Whom it May Concern at the Barbie Factory:
Please stop manufacturing clothes for Barbie that can be removed in less than a minute by a two-year-old, yet take a thirty-three-year-old woman ten minutes to put back on. You are wasting my life. Unless you think it's fun to have a naked doll party in your living room every. single. day.
And, for God's sake, just paint the shoes on!
Evie's Frazzled Mom