I've never been a good sleeper. I lay my head on the pillow, and instead of drifting to dreamland, my brain clicks "on." I worry, I write blog posts in my head, I make To Do lists, I redecorate the house. So when I finally fall asleep, I want to stay sleeping! Because I repeat the whole cycle again if I wake up.
But I don't mind getting up with Ethan at night.
Oh, he's just the sweetest thing ever. And he's all mine at night.
During the day, there is so much going on. The radio is on, or the television is on. Evie is running around, or dancing, or singing, or asking for my help. The doorbell rings, or the phone rings.
At night, it's quiet. The light is dim. It's just the two of us. I hold his warm body in my arms while I feed him. In the soft light, he looks like a little angel. I kiss his head and stroke his cheek.
When I was up with Evie in the night, I used to pray for other mothers who were up with their children. But I sometimes forget to pray when I'm up with Ethan. He steals all my attention, all my love, all my heart - there in the dark.