The Best Bloggy Friends Ever

When I started blogging, I just wanted a record of my days with Evie. Chris' mom kept journals throughout her life, and it was so special to read them after she passed away.

But blogging has become so much more for me, and it's because of all of you. You've lifted my spirits, encouraged me, and sang my praises when I needed it most. You've made me a better friend and a better mother and a better writer. I've gained lots of wisdom and the courage to completely be myself. I've been so fortunate to stumble upon this community.

Before my doctor appointment today, I read your words and prayers. Thank you.

The procedure went well. It hurt a lot more than I expected, but I feel fine now. Everything is still on track in IVF-Land. I'm tired and emotionally spent, so I'm signing off tonight.

One thing before I go - tomorrow I plan to record Evie's first-ever interview and post it on my blog. What would you like me to ask her? I hope you help me come up with some fun questions!

I've Hit a Snag

Yesterday I had a routine ultrasound. You know, just to make sure things look okay so far.

They don't.

My doctor discovered a cyst on one of my ovaries. Normally, this isn't an issue. They're very common and usually disappear on their own. But in my case, this cyst could rob from the valuable blood supply to my egg follicles. And I'm going to need every one of those eggs in a couple weeks.

So tomorrow I have a procedure scheduled to remove the cyst. At first I was upset. I mean, really, another thing to do here? As if I don't have enough to go through already?

However, tonight I feel fine. Actually, I feel lucky. Even though this is just one more "unfair" thing about my infertility, my IVF cycle is not canceled. We're plowing ahead. I can do this! And what's more, I even feel a little hope that I might just get a baby out of this whole thing.

I told you I was a strong woman. Right now, I even believe it myself.

Wordless Wednesday - Snow Daze!

Can't get enough Wordless Wednesdays? Check out more here, here, and here!

Chicken Tortilla Soup

Thanks to everyone for the sweet comments on my last post. You really helped me feel better, probably more than you'll know.

Speaking of warm, fuzzy feelings - I do not have them for our local weathermen. The 4-8 inches of snow they predicted has not appeared, just a disgusting slushy mess! I was looking forward to our first significant snowfall of the year. Imagine Evie out in that! I guess that fun will have to wait for another day...

But the weather is cold and frightful, and soup is perfect to warm your insides. This is a quick and flavorful one, and takes less than an hour from start to finish. I'm making it tonight with leftover turkey from dinner at my mom's this weekend. It's a soup I've made a million times, but I'm looking forward to having it again!

Chicken Tortilla Soup
2 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
1/2 tsp olive oil
1/2 tsp minced garlic
2 (14.5 oz) cans chicken broth
1 c frozen corn kernels
1 c chopped onion
1/2 tsp chili powder
1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 c chunky salsa
8 oz tortilla chips
1/2 c shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1 c canned black beans, rinsed
sour cream for garnish

In a large pot over medium heat, saute the chicken in the oil for 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cumin and mix well. Then add the broth, corn, onion, chili powder, lemon juice, and salsa. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 20-30 minutes.

Remove chicken from pot and shred with two forks. Return chicken to pot, along with black beans. Simmer another 10 minutes.

Break up some tortilla chips into individual bowls and pour soup over chips. Top with Monterey Jack cheese and a little sour cream.

Enjoy!

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

You'll Just Feel a Little Stick

I started my Lupron shots a few days ago. I wake up early, before Chris heads off to work, and he gives me the injection. He really should be a doctor, because I hardly feel a thing. Just a little sting followed by a little itching. Then I get a kiss from my dear husband, pop a steroid (really!) and a prenatal vitamin, and back to bed I go.

The best thing is that I get to snuggle up to Evie. During our first cycle, Chris gave me the shot and I headed off to work. But now, I slide into bed next to my darling girl. Her sweet face soothes my anxiety. One morning, she must have felt me come back to bed and she slid ever-so-close. Still sleeping, she tucked her head under my chin and curled into me. I fell into such a deep slumber after that.

Even though this cycle is much easier than the previous cycle, it's still so very hard. Mostly, I don't think I'll end up pregnant. I felt this way last time, and I was miraculously surprised when I ended up with Evie. Surprised, and grateful to God.

But I just don't know how we can be blessed again this second time. So I wake up a lot in the middle of the night, and I can't fall back asleep. I pray to God, plead, that He answers my heart's desire. Sometimes I know He is listening, and I beg for Him to bend to my wishes. For Him to give me another baby. I have to admit, there are nights when I'm not even sure He can hear me, though.

I'm crying as I write this. This is the hard part. Not the needles or the medicine chart or the endless blood draws and ultrasounds. It's the not knowing. It's the wanting something so badly, and not knowing if it will be yours. Most people don't have this struggle - they just have babies.

Someone once told me IVF was wrong in God's eyes because children deserve to be conceived in an act of love. I was startled. This process is as much an act of love as any intimate act with my husband. Although neither of us was even in the room when Evie was conceived, she was loved and wanted and prayed for.

And so that's what I'm doing again. Wanting and loving and praying for another miracle baby. I know God will give me what I need. I know there is a plan. Now it's simply a waiting game. I just hope it's a game I win.

A Moment to Treasure in My Heart

This morning, Evie awoke and said a bright and cheerful "Hello, Mommy!" She scooted over and climbed onto my tummy. We cuddled awhile, her ear to my chest so she could hear my heart beating. Her angel face looked up at me and she planted a sweet kiss right on my mouth. And then, then she said "I love you, Mommy."

So simple, but a moment I'll never forget.

Sweet Hearts

I have several million (okay, little exaggeration) candy canes left over from Christmas. Instead of throwing them out, I just keep moving them from room to room. They finally made their way upstairs into the kitchen and I've been moving them again - from the desk to the table to the counter to the candy box on top of the fridge. Which is just dumb, BECAUSE NO ONE IS GOING TO EAT THEM. Evie declares they are " Too scipy," or "spicy" in English. Me, I'd rather have chocolate.

So when I saw this on Make and Takes, it was the perfect solution to my candy cane problem. Cute, huh? Now I have Valentine decorations to hang in the front door and around Evie's room. All it took was ribbon, the oven, and my red and white striped friends.

Good thing I hung onto those candy canes. I knew they would come in handy!